I get up after hitting the snooze button a minimum of six times. I make a coffee, then sit in the shower drinking it and smoking cigarettes until the initial agony of knowing I have to spend another day with my coworkers dissipates. I generally spend this time trying to calculate the pros and cons of just not turning up. I know they will bitch but their opinions mean little to anyone so sometimes I just stay in the shower for an hour and then go back to bed.

If I do decide to go in, I sit in an office the size of a wardrobe and temperature of a kiln prostituting myself by spending the day making poor products look appealing so that people will be tricked into buying them.

- David Thorne describing my life.